Mind Matters 04 | How to Talk About Mental Health: A Guide to Compassionate Language

Introduction

Hello and welcome back to English Plus and our special series, Mind Matters. Over the past three episodes, we have journeyed across a vast and complex landscape. We’ve established the biological reality of brain disorders, we’ve walked in the shoes of someone experiencing stigma, and we’ve charted a map of the major categories that define this terrain. We’ve explored the why, the who, and the what. Today, we arrive at the most practical, and perhaps the most powerful, destination of all: the how.

How do we talk about all of this?

Words are the tools we use to build our world. With them, we can construct bridges of understanding and empathy, or we can erect walls of stigma and isolation. A word can be a key, unlocking a safe space for someone to share their vulnerability. Or it can be a cage, trapping them in a label, reducing the vibrant, complex tapestry of their identity to a single, clinical thread. The language we choose is not incidental; it is fundamental. It shapes our perceptions, reflects our biases, and has the power to either heal or harm.

In the world of brain health, our words matter immensely. And for too long, our collective vocabulary has been imprecise, outdated, and often, unintentionally cruel. Today, we are going to change that. This episode is a workshop. It is a practical toolkit designed to equip you with the language of compassion and accuracy. We’re moving beyond just knowing about brain disorders to knowing how to speak about them with respect.

To do that, we must ask ourselves some challenging questions:

• Why does a seemingly minor grammatical shift—saying “a person with depression” instead of “a depressed person”—represent a monumental shift in perspective? Is this just political correctness, or is it the very foundation of respectful dialogue?
• How have the idioms and slang we use every day—phrases like “he’s acting psycho,” or “I’m so OCD about my files”—become casual weapons that trivialize real suffering and perpetuate harmful stereotypes?
• When someone bravely chooses to break their silence and opens up to us about their struggle, what do we do next? What are the actual, functional phrases we can use to fill that vulnerable silence, not with judgment or cheap advice, but with genuine support?
• How can we upgrade our vocabulary with terms like “neurodiversity” and “comorbidity” to discuss brain health with the sophistication and precision it deserves?

This episode is the core of what we do here at English Plus: we are exploring how language can elevate our understanding and our humanity. The skills you learn today are not shortcuts to becoming an expert or a therapist. True fluency in the language of empathy is a lifelong practice of listening, learning, and, when we make a mistake, having the humility to learn from it. This is your starter kit. These are the tools. Now, let’s learn how to use them.

Speaking with Compassion: The Language of Brain Health

Hello again, and welcome to the fourth episode of our Mind Matters week. We’ve laid the scientific foundation, we’ve explored the lived experience, and we’ve mapped the terrain. Today, we get to the nuts and bolts. We’re going to build something together: a better way to talk about brain health.

Language is the operating system of our society. It’s the code that runs in the background, shaping our thoughts, our beliefs, and our interactions. And if that code contains bugs—outdated stereotypes, imprecise terms, and harmful idioms—then the output will be flawed. The output will be stigma.

Our goal today is to debug our language. We’re going to identify and remove the flawed code and replace it with something clearer, more accurate, and more compassionate. This is a practical skills-based episode. By the end of our time together, you will have a concrete toolkit of words and phrases you can use to change the conversation in your own life.

We’ll divide our workshop into four parts: laying the foundation with Person-First Language, upgrading our vocabulary with key terms, weeding out harmful idioms, and finally, building a toolkit of supportive phrases. Let’s begin with the blueprint.

Part 1: The Blueprint of Respect – Person-First Language

If you take only one thing away from this episode, let it be this. This concept is simple, powerful, and non-negotiable if we want to speak respectfully about health conditions of any kind. It’s called Person-First Language.

The principle is exactly what it sounds like: you put the person first. You lead with their humanity, not with their diagnosis. The diagnosis is something they have; it is not who they are.

Let’s look at the classic example. The old, outdated way to speak might be to say, “He is a schizophrenic.”

Listen to how that sounds. The label “schizophrenic” becomes his entire identity. It’s a noun. It defines him. It’s the first and only thing you’re telling me about him.

Now, let’s rephrase that using Person-First Language: “He is a person living with schizophrenia.”

Hear the difference? It’s profound. First and foremost, he is a person. He is a human being who also happens to have, or live with, a specific medical condition. That condition is a part of his life, perhaps a very significant part, but it is not the totality of his existence. He is a person who might also be a father, an artist, a friend, a chess player. Person-First Language creates space for all of that other humanity.

Let’s try a few more.

Instead of “an autistic boy,” you would say “a boy with autism.”

Instead of “she’s bipolar,” you would say “she has bipolar disorder.”

Instead of “an epileptic,” you would say “a person who has epilepsy.”

Now, I can already hear some people thinking, “Isn’t this just being overly sensitive? Is this just political correctness?” It’s a fair question, but the answer is a firm no. This is not about being “politically correct”; it is about being medically and ethically accurate.

Let’s use an analogy from physical health, which often clears this up immediately. Would you ever point to a friend and say, “She is a cancer”? Of course not. That sounds barbaric. You would say, “She is a person who is battling cancer.” Would you define your uncle as “a diabetes”? No. You’d say he is “a person who has diabetes.” We already do this intuitively for physical illnesses. The reason we have failed to do it for brain disorders is a direct result of the historical stigma that has separated the mind from the body and treated brain conditions as character flaws. Using Person-First Language is a conscious act to correct that historical error. It is a verbal sign of respect.

Now, because this is an advanced discussion, we have to add a layer of important nuance. The concept of Person-First Language is the gold standard and the safest, most respectful place to start. However, you will find that some communities, particularly within the disability rights movement, have begun to reclaim their labels and prefer what’s called Identity-First Language.

The most prominent example is in the Autistic community. Many, though not all, autistic adults prefer to be called an “autistic person” rather than “a person with autism.” The reasoning is powerful. They argue that autism is not an accessory they carry, like a purse. It is a fundamental, inseparable part of their identity, shaping the very way they perceive, process, and interact with the world. To them, saying “person with autism” implies that autism is something negative that should be separated from them. By saying “I am autistic,” they are claiming it as a core part of their neurotype, their identity, and they are proud of it. You will find similar preferences in the Deaf community, where many people proudly identify as a “Deaf person.”

So what do you do? It’s simple: you listen. Your default setting should always be Person-First Language. It is the most universally respectful approach. But if someone tells you, “I prefer to be called an autistic person,” or “I identify as bipolar,” you respect their preference. You let the individual be the expert on their own identity. But until you know, you put the person first.

Part 2: Upgrading Your Vocabulary – Key Terms

Alright, with our foundational blueprint in place, it’s time to add some more sophisticated tools to our kit. To talk about brain health accurately, we need to understand a few key terms. Think of this as your vocabulary upgrade.

1. Stigma

We’ve used this word a lot this week, so let’s define it precisely. Stigma is a mark of disgrace or shame that sets someone apart from others. When we talk about the stigma of mental illness, we’re talking about the collection of negative and unfair beliefs that society holds about people with these conditions.

• Analogy: Stigma is like an invisible stain that society unfairly puts on a person. The person didn’t do anything to create the stain, but the world treats them differently because of it, and they are left feeling ashamed and isolated.
• In a sentence: “The stigma surrounding depression often prevents people from seeking help because they’re afraid of being judged.”

2. Neurotransmitter

This is a word from the world of biology, but it’s essential for understanding the mechanics of the brain. A neurotransmitter is a chemical messenger that carries signals between brain cells, which are called neurons.

• Analogy: Think of the brain as a massive, intricate postal system. The neurons are the houses and offices. Neurotransmitters are the postal workers, carrying letters (messages) from one building to the next to make sure everything functions.
• Examples: We talked about a few of these in our last episode. Serotonin helps regulate mood. Dopamine is involved in motivation and reward. When these messengers aren’t working efficiently, it can lead to symptoms of various brain disorders.
• In a sentence: “Many antidepressant medications work by helping to regulate the activity of neurotransmitters like serotonin in the brain.”

3. Comorbidity

This sounds complicated, but the concept is straightforward. Comorbidity is the medical term for when two or more illnesses or conditions occur in the same person at the same time.

• Analogy: Comorbidity is like getting a flat tire on your car and, while you’re pulled over, realizing your engine is also overheating. They are two separate problems, but they’re happening at the same time and making the situation much more complex.
• In a sentence: “There is a high rate of comorbidity between anxiety disorders and substance use disorders, as people may use substances to cope with their anxiety.”

4. Neurodiversity

This is one of the most important and empowering concepts to emerge in recent years. Neurodiversity is the idea that differences in brain function and behavioral traits are simply normal variations of the human brain. It’s a move away from the “normal vs. abnormal” model to one that recognizes a wide spectrum of natural human wiring.

• Analogy: This goes back to our “operating system” analogy from the last episode. Neurodiversity is the simple idea that the world contains many different brain operating systems—Windows, macOS, Linux, etc. None is inherently better or worse, just different. The neurodiversity paradigm argues that we should celebrate this biodiversity of the mind rather than trying to make everyone conform to one “neurotypical” standard.
• In a sentence: “Embracing neurodiversity in the workplace means creating an environment where people with conditions like ADHD and autism can thrive because their unique ways of thinking are valued.”

Part 3: Weeding the Garden – Avoiding Harmful Idioms

Okay, we’ve laid our foundation and added some new tools. Now it’s time for some maintenance. Our everyday language is like a garden, and over time, some weeds have grown in. These are the casual, often unthinking phrases and idioms we use that are rooted in stigmatizing ideas about brain health. Let’s identify them and pull them out.

The Weed: Using clinical terms as insults. Phrases like: “My old boss was a total psycho.” Or “That’s insane!” Or “Are you nuts? Don’t be so crazy.”

• The Harm: Words like “psycho” are directly linked to psychosis, a serious medical symptom where a person loses touch with reality. When you use it as a casual insult for someone who is just mean or erratic, you are dehumanizing people who experience a terrifying and widely misunderstood medical condition. You are using their illness as a slur.
• The Alternative: Be more precise and less harmful. Instead of “my boss was a psycho,” try: “My boss was unpredictable and created a very toxic work environment.” Instead of “that idea is insane,” try: “That idea seems completely unworkable.”

The Weed: Trivializing serious diagnoses. This is one of the most common. “I’m so OCD about keeping my desk clean.” Or “This weather is completely bipolar.”

• The Harm: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a severe anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive, distressing obsessions and compulsive behaviors that can completely disable a person. It is not a cute personality quirk for being tidy. Bipolar Disorder is a serious mood disorder that can lead to hospitalization and profound life disruption. It is not a synonym for “changeable” or “unpredictable.” When you use these terms casually, you are shrinking a debilitating illness down to a joke, which makes it harder for people with these conditions to be taken seriously.
• The Alternative: Again, just say what you mean. Instead of “I’m so OCD,” say: “I’m very meticulous about my desk.” Or “I really like to keep things organized.” Instead of “the weather is bipolar,” say: “The weather is so unpredictable today.”

Precision is an act of respect. By choosing our words more carefully, we stop contributing to a culture that misunderstands and belittles these real medical conditions.

Part 4: The Supporter’s Toolkit – Functional Phrases for Empathy

This final section is perhaps the most important. We’ve learned what not to say. We’ve learned some key terms. But what do you say when someone trusts you enough to be vulnerable? When a friend, colleague, or family member says, “I’m not okay. I’m struggling with my mental health.”

The silence that follows that disclosure can be terrifying for the person who shared. Your response in that moment is critical. You don’t need to be a therapist. You don’t need to have the perfect answer. You just need to be a safe human being. Here are some simple, powerful phrases you can use. Let’s call it your supporter’s toolkit.

First, phrases for VALIDATION. Your first job is to acknowledge the courage it took for them to speak up and to validate their feelings.

• “Thank you for trusting me with this.” This is a beautiful phrase because it immediately reframes their disclosure not as a burden, but as a gift of trust.
• “That sounds incredibly difficult.” This shows you are listening and that you believe their struggle is real. You’re not questioning it or minimizing it.
• “I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through that.” It’s simple, it’s classic, and it’s effective. It’s a pure expression of empathy.

Second, phrases for OPEN-ENDED LISTENING. You are not there to solve their problem. You are there to be a witness and a support.

• “I’m here to listen if you want to talk more about it, but no pressure.” This offers your presence without demanding they share more than they are comfortable with.
• “Is there anything you’d like to share about what that’s like for you?” This is a gentle invitation for them to elaborate if they choose to.

Third, phrases for OFFERING SUPPORT. This is crucial. Don’t assume you know what they need. Ask.

• “How can I best support you right now?” This is the single best question you can ask. It honors their autonomy and acknowledges that they are the expert on their own needs.
• “Is there anything practical I could do that might help ease the load a bit?” Sometimes practical help (like grabbing groceries, walking their dog, or helping with a task at work) is more valuable than any conversation.

What you’ll notice is that none of these phrases involve giving advice. Avoid the temptation to say “You should try…” or “Have you thought about…?” or, worst of all, “Just look on the bright side.” Unless they explicitly ask for your advice, your role is simply to listen, validate, and offer support on their terms.

Conclusion

We have assembled a powerful toolkit today. We learned the respectful blueprint of Person-First Language. We upgraded our vocabulary with essential terms. We’ve weeded our linguistic garden of harmful idioms. And we’ve filled our supporter’s toolkit with phrases that create safety and connection.

This isn’t about memorizing scripts. It’s about internalizing a new mindset—one rooted in precision, respect, and compassion. Like learning any new language, you might feel clumsy at first. You might make mistakes. That’s okay. The goal is not perfection, but progress. The simple act of trying to use better language is an act of love and support in itself.

Thank you for doing this important work with me today.