Develop a Thick Skin: Survive Rejection, Criticism, and the Cold Shoulder

by | Dec 9, 2024 | Editorial

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Rejection. Criticism. Dismissiveness. These aren’t just things that happen to other people; they’re the VIP guests who show up uninvited to anyone daring to create, dream, or put themselves out there. If you’ve ever poured your heart into something—a story, a podcast episode, a song, a meticulously decorated cake—and then been met with a “meh” or worse, absolute silence, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It stings. Oh, it stings like stepping on a LEGO barefoot in the middle of the night.

Let’s not sugarcoat this: dismissiveness is just as hurtful as outright criticism. Maybe even more. Because when someone dismisses your effort, they’re not even giving you the courtesy of feedback. They’re just… ignoring it. And if you’re anything like me, you don’t create things to shove them into a drawer. You create to share, to connect, to elicit reactions. You envision a room full of applause, or at least a polite nod of approval. Instead, you’re met with blank stares or, worse, that unholy combination of a smirk and a shrug.

Now, I could tell you to be a robot about it. “Don’t let it get to you,” they say. But let’s be real: it does get to you. It gets under your skin, taps you on the shoulder when you’re brushing your teeth, and whispers, “Maybe you’re not good enough.” But here’s the trick—it’s okay to feel that. Let it hurt. Let yourself acknowledge that this is part of being human. Just don’t show it to the person who dismissed you, especially if they’re doing it on purpose. Why? Because the moment you let them see they’ve hurt you, you’ve handed them the power.

Not all criticism is bad, though. Sometimes it’s wrapped in layers of bluntness and tough love, but buried within is a nugget of truth that can make you better. The hard part is recognizing which feedback is constructive and which is just someone projecting their own insecurities onto you. Spoiler: if their main hobby is tearing others down while producing absolutely nothing themselves, it’s safe to ignore their opinions.

That said, don’t get bitter. The world has enough grumpy creatives who’ve convinced themselves that no one understands their brilliance. You don’t want to be that person. Stay open to learning, even when the lesson comes wrapped in what feels like a slap in the face. When someone points out a flaw in your work, try—hard as it may be—to ask yourself: “Do they have a point?” If they do, great. You just learned something. If they don’t, move on. Either way, keep creating.

Here’s the reality: you need a thick skin to keep going, but not so thick that you stop feeling. That’s the balancing act. If you stop feeling, you stop growing. But if you let every slight, every offhand comment, every yawn during your magnum opus get to you, you’ll never make it past the first draft of anything.

I’ll be honest—I’ve faced this countless times. As a writer, podcaster, and composer, I’ve poured everything into a project only to see someone’s face barely register it. And sure, my imagination sometimes plays it up. In my mind, they’re thinking, This is the worst thing I’ve ever encountered. In reality, they’re probably just wondering what’s for dinner. Still, it hurts.

So, what do you do? First, allow yourself to feel it. Acknowledge that it stings. Then, instead of spiraling into bitterness, let it motivate you. Write something better. Sing something better. Build something better. And most importantly, never stop.

Rejection, criticism, and dismissiveness are inevitable. You can’t avoid them, but you can decide how they shape you. Let them fuel your creativity, not extinguish it. Keep creating. Keep learning. And remember, no one ever built a statue for the person who criticized the sculptor.

Danny Ballan
Editor-in-Chief
English Plus Magazine

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