Christina’s World
A Poem by Danny Ballan from The Scream Poem Collection
That house I daily look upon—
that hill above, that hill below;
moments away till life begins
the hearth and home
have burned me out, almost,
outside awaits the show.
A soldier a long way would go
through blood and tears and lots of snow;
nothing will wait for him to lament
a friend he could not bury a day ago—
the cause is hungry,
the cause’s in a hurry;
a wolf bares not to wait,
the sharpened teeth are ready
to devour yet another one,
a patriot fighting for god and home—
foolish causes believed by the true
to keep the wolves in the valley full.
I am that soldier here at home;
I am a woman devoured day by day
to please them all, but not myself—
to stay a lamb and die at home
or live a wolf and die alone?
A domestic woman mourned
or a wild woman unforgotten?
Poem Insights
Christina’s World: A Reflection on the Battle Within
Poetry has a way of speaking to the deepest parts of our souls, offering a mirror to our struggles, desires, and unspoken truths. Christina’s World, from The Scream Poem Collection, is no exception. This poem invites us into the life of a woman caught between duty and desire, expectation and individuality, survival and self-expression. Through striking imagery and profound symbolism, Danny Ballan weaves a narrative that transcends time and place, making the personal universal and the ordinary profound.
At first glance, Christina’s World might evoke the famous Andrew Wyeth painting of the same name, which depicts a woman lying in a field, gazing at a distant farmhouse. There is longing in that painting—a yearning that is echoed in the words of this poem. The house, the hill, and the waiting world beyond serve as a powerful setting for an internal struggle. The speaker observes the house daily, an ever-present structure that represents more than just shelter. It is duty, it is home, it is expectation—and perhaps, it is also a prison.
The poem shifts into a soldier’s journey, a metaphor for sacrifice, for blind devotion to causes that may never return the favor. A soldier fights not for himself, but for something larger—for country, for belief, for others. The battlefield demands his blood, his sweat, his very being. He has no time to mourn, no space to grieve. He moves forward, because stopping would mean losing everything. But what happens when that battlefield is not in some distant land but within the home? What if the war is one of identity, of self-worth, of choice?
“I am that soldier here at home.” This line is a gut punch. The war the speaker faces is not one of swords and rifles, but of expectations and roles imposed upon her. She is a woman trapped in a relentless cycle, consumed by the demands of others, struggling to carve out space for herself in a world that dictates her purpose. Should she remain a “lamb,” conforming to the expectations of domesticity, sacrificing her individuality for acceptance? Or should she become a “wolf,” fierce, independent, and free, even if it means loneliness?
This choice—between being tamed and being wild—is one that echoes through time, touching the lives of countless individuals who have been told what they ought to be, rather than allowed to discover who they are. It is the choice between belonging and becoming, between comfort and self-actualization. And it is not an easy one.
Thematic Exploration: Questions That Linger
Rather than offering definitive answers, Christina’s World provokes deep and unsettling questions:
- How do we define home? Is it a place of safety, or can it become a place of confinement? Can home be both nurturing and suffocating at the same time?
- What does it mean to serve? Whether as a soldier or as a woman fulfilling societal expectations, how much of ourselves do we lose in the process? And if sacrifice is inevitable, how do we ensure that we are not merely consumed?
- Are we ever truly free? Even if we choose to be the “wolf” instead of the “lamb,” does freedom come without a cost? Can one truly live outside of society’s expectations, or does rebellion itself become a different kind of cage?
- What does it mean to be remembered? The poem suggests two paths—to be mourned or to be unforgotten. But are these the only choices? Do we live for legacy, or do we live for the present moment? And what is the price of each?
- What is worth fighting for? The soldier fights for a cause that “keeps the wolves in the valley full.” The woman fights for herself. Which battle is the greater one? And how do we know if the causes we devote ourselves to are truly our own, or ones we have inherited and internalized from others?
The Power of Poetry to Illuminate Our Inner Conflicts
The brilliance of Christina’s World lies in its ability to take a deeply personal experience and make it resonate with anyone who has ever felt trapped between expectation and authenticity. It reminds us that the greatest battles are often the ones fought in silence, in small daily choices, in the quiet yearning for something more.
We may never find easy answers to the questions posed by this poem. But perhaps the act of asking them—of wrestling with them, of carrying them with us—is its own kind of victory.
This poem is from Danny’s The Scream poem collection, which is available to buy on Amazon.
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