Can You Really Resist Hatred in Your Life?

by | Nov 18, 2024 | Danny's Column

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Hatred is a tricky thing. It sneaks in quietly, sometimes disguised as righteous anger or self-defense. Before you know it, it settles in, grows roots, and starts occupying the corners of your mind. It’s persistent, consuming, and relentless—like a cancer that spreads and takes over everything else, leaving no space for joy, love, or even basic contentment. So the real question isn’t whether hatred can be resisted, but whether we can afford not to resist it.

Think about it: when you let hatred take hold, what happens? Your thoughts become darker, your outlook narrower, and your actions more reactive. Hatred has this uncanny ability to distort the way we see the world. It makes every interaction feel like a battle, every difference a threat, and every wound a justification to lash out. The longer it stays, the harder it becomes to remember what life felt like without it.

But why is it so hard to resist? Why do we cling to hatred, even when it hurts us? It’s because hatred often feels like power. It gives us a sense of control when we’ve been wronged. It feeds off our desire for justice—or revenge—and tells us that holding on to it will make things right. But here’s the truth: hatred doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t heal wounds, mend relationships, or bring peace. All it does is make sure the pain stays alive, feeding on our energy and leaving us drained and bitter.

Now, here’s where it gets personal. Each of us has felt hatred at some point. It might be directed at someone who hurt us, a group whose beliefs we can’t understand, or even at ourselves. And if we’re honest, we know how heavy it feels. Hatred isn’t just a burden—it’s a thief. It robs us of our ability to see beauty, to connect with others, and to experience life fully. When hatred takes up residence in your mind, it doesn’t just occupy space; it pushes out everything else. There’s no room for gratitude, compassion, or growth because hatred demands all your attention.

But resisting hatred isn’t about ignoring the things that hurt us. It’s not about pretending that injustice doesn’t exist or that people don’t do terrible things. Resisting hatred is about choosing what we allow to shape us. It’s about acknowledging pain without letting it define us, and seeking justice without losing our humanity in the process. It’s about asking ourselves, “Do I want to live my life carrying this weight? Or do I want to be free?”

And freedom—that’s the key. Letting go of hatred isn’t about forgiving someone else for their sake. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains that hatred wraps around your heart. It’s about reclaiming the space in your mind for things that actually matter: hope, love, curiosity, and joy. It’s about choosing to focus on what builds you up instead of what tears you down.

Of course, it’s not easy. Letting go of hatred requires effort, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable. It means confronting our own pain, understanding it, and finding healthier ways to deal with it. Sometimes, it means seeking help, whether through conversations with trusted friends or guidance from a professional. And often, it means practicing empathy—not just for others, but for ourselves. Because the truth is, a lot of the hatred we carry is rooted in our own fears and insecurities.

So, can you really resist hatred? Yes, you can. But it’s a choice you have to make every single day. It’s not about being perfect or never feeling anger again—it’s about recognizing when anger is turning into hatred and deciding not to let it consume you. It’s about replacing hatred with something better. A sense of purpose. A determination to grow. A commitment to live fully and freely.

Life is too short to be weighed down by hatred. There’s so much beauty in this world, so much worth loving and appreciating, but you’ll miss it all if you let hatred take over. It’s a battle worth fighting, not just for the world around you, but for the world within you. Because at the end of the day, the greatest victory isn’t defeating others—it’s defeating the things that hold us back from being our best selves.

What will you choose to hold on to today? And, more importantly, what will you choose to let go of?

Danny Ballan
Editor-in-Chief
English Plus Magazine

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