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Danny's Column

Why Ignoring Others’ Success Reveals More About You Than Them

Why Ignoring Others’ Success Reveals More About You Than Them

It’s easy to overlook someone else’s accomplishments, isn’t it? Maybe you’re caught up in your own world, maybe you feel a twinge of envy, or maybe you just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. But dismissing someone’s achievements—whether it’s with a cold shoulder, a half-hearted compliment, or simply not acknowledging it at all—is a reflection not of them, but of you. And it’s not a flattering look.

Why is it that we’re so quick to point out flaws, yet struggle to give a nod to someone who’s done something well? It’s almost as if we believe that recognizing someone else’s success takes away from our own. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not about you. It’s about being emotionally intelligent enough to realize that applauding someone’s effort doesn’t diminish your worth. In fact, it enhances your character.

What’s really at play when someone downplays or ignores the success of others? It’s insecurity. Deep down, people who find it difficult to appreciate the achievements of others are often struggling with feelings of inadequacy. It can be unsettling to see someone else succeed in areas where you feel lacking. That little voice inside whispers, “Why them and not me?”—as if someone else’s win somehow highlights your own perceived failures. But here’s the truth: their success doesn’t reflect your shortcomings; it reflects your insecurity.

People who are confident in themselves and secure in their own path don’t feel threatened by the success of others. They can genuinely celebrate someone else’s wins because they know it doesn’t take away from their own journey. But when insecurity is in the driver’s seat, the instinct is to deflect—either by ignoring the achievement entirely or by downplaying it, maybe even convincing yourself that it wasn’t that impressive to begin with. It’s a defense mechanism, protecting fragile egos from confronting the uncomfortable truth that we all have areas where we need to grow.

It’s easy to say someone’s success was “no big deal” or “lucky,” especially when we’re not the ones who put in the work. We downplay what we can’t replicate. But think about how unfair that is—both to the person who put in the effort and to yourself. By brushing off the success of others, you not only rob them of the recognition they deserve but also close yourself off to learning from their achievements. It’s a double loss.

On the flip side, why is it that when something goes wrong, we’re the first to point it out? Criticism, for some reason, feels more satisfying. We dissect flaws, jump at the chance to highlight mistakes, and all too often, it’s not to help, but to elevate ourselves at the expense of others. But here’s the thing: constantly focusing on others’ missteps and ignoring their wins doesn’t build you up. It just makes you look petty.

If you’re one of those people who suffers from this kind of dismissive behavior, let me tell you this: it’s not worth your time. People who downplay your accomplishments are usually projecting their own insecurities. Don’t waste a moment thinking about their words or actions. Keep doing what you’re doing, and let your work speak for itself. Those who matter will see it for what it is—an achievement worth celebrating. As for the rest? They’re not worth a second thought.

Danny Ballan
Editor-in-Chief
English Plus Magazine

English Plus Magazine

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