You are eating dinner at someone’s house. You are full although you haven’t finished everything on your plate.
Someone is prying into your private life by preceding questions with “I know perhaps I shouldn’t be asking, but …”
A habitual moaner starts complaining to you about their life.
You are in a two-star hotel and the air conditioning in your room doesn’t work.
You have an outside table at a restaurant. Someone on the next table starts smoking.
Someone who you lent $10 to still hasn’t paid you back.
A work colleague invites you to their party and you are expected to buy them a present whether you go or not. You don’t want to go.
At a restaurant you ask for your steak to be well done. The steak arrives medium-rare.
You are out for dinner with friends. At the end of the meal the waiter gives you the bill.
You order a soft drink at a restaurant. The drink arrives but two thirds of the glass is ice.
You’ve been blamed for misplacing something, which in fact you’ve never touched.
You enrolled on a course held by what turns out to be an ineffectual and poorly-prepared professor.
Your partner’s friend always kisses you when they greet you. You don’t like being kissed by this person.
Your elderly aunt calls you on the phone at a very busy moment.
You have been slightly overcharged at a shop.
The food you’ve just had in a restaurant is not up to scratch and the service has been inadequate.
One of your neighbor’s dogs barks loudly at 5 o’clock every morning.
You are on a diet imposed by your doctor. At a friend’s house they offer you a piece of their birthday cake.
You are in a hurry at the supermarket. All the queues are very long.
At work someone asks you to do a task that they are supposed to do themselves.
Are You a Victor or a Victim?
You Are a Victor
You are a Victor! You rarely regard yourself as being the victim of the negative actions of others, as you realize there is clear evidence that such actions were only perceived by you as being negative and that this perception is due to habitual thought processes. Instead, you learned in childhood not to be a victim and to be responsible for your own actions - both successes and failures.
You Are a Victim
You are a Victim?! you probably have many of the following characteristics. You lack self-confidence and are easily influenced by others. You have some difficulty in communicating with others and in establishing and maintaining boundaries. Because of your low level of self-esteem and high level of shyness you find it hard to say no (you basically want to please everyone). You may or may not be setting yourself up to be a target of victimization, and you may or may not be eliciting the sympathy of those around you, but whatever the situation you need to learn to have more confidence in yourself and take more responsibility for your own actions and feelings.
You Are Somewhere in Between
You have characteristics from both being a victor full of confidence and being able to own your actions, both the right and wrong ones, but sometimes you tend to please others because of the little lack of confidence you have. Maybe, you should decide on certain things and be on one side or the other.
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